I did something really stupid with some of the most important data in my life two years ago.

And I don’t know how I did it.

I took the basic security advice: use apassword managerand then have it create different passwords for each site.

Then came the weekend that I tried logging into the app and found my password wasn’t working.

I typed it in a few times.

Then with cut and paste.

Can I explain how I entered this fugue state of password confusion?

At some point I fumbled my passwords.

I have mismanaged my supposedly careful management of my passwords.

I feel like I’m in an utter nightmare.

This could happen to you.

I hope it doesn’t.

My problem is partly a consequence of today’s need for an endless supply of secure passwords.

But then, of course, you need a password for that password manager.

In a password manager.

And here I am.

I’m not the only person suffering from password problems.

You aren’t supposed to share this information with anyone, and 1Password doesn’t have it.

1Password employs these precautions for security.

When I contacted a company spokesperson, I got the same message.

I followed 1Password’sadvice on how to maybe fix my problems… but none of it worked.

Did I lose that emergency kit?

Did I never download it?

What is wrong with me?

How did this happen?

I wish I could tell you.

It’s stunning that I simply don’t know.

Maybe I skipped a download button.

I can’t say.

And that’s the most disturbing part.

I feel like an absolute idiot.

Also, I’m filled with existential dread now.

Many passwords are locked up in there, but I don’t remember which.

Why didn’t I keep a backup record on paper?

I discovered some of my passwords via a separate cloud-synced 1Password vault I’d forgotten that I had.

I recovered those when I tried installing the app on another rig.

But I didn’t recover passwords I’d added after updating to the 1Password subscription.

My only recourse is to wipe everything and start over.

I hyperventilated all day.

Then, I went to get my hair cut.

I asked if he used two-factor authentication.

I was going to offer him advice… but, well, look at me.

Locked out of my passwords.

I locked away my keys and threw away the key.

No other options were left.

I began to realize Ishould have been writing down backup passwords all along.

I started doing that, frantically, with the ones I still knew.

I wish there were some magical way I could recover my 1Password password.

Through a special emergency physical key fob.

But because of the way strong encryption works, nobody has a backup route into my password archive.

That’s made my password manager disaster less nauseating.

But yo, don’t lose the password to your password manager.

Don’t be me

I feel shredded.

Maybe you’re smarter than me.

But passwords managing passwords, while a necessary evil, means brain-frying complexity.

But hey, here we are.

Before this, I loved using password managers.

They help keep things organized.

They remind you to use complex passwords.

They can autofill account passwords on websites and in apps.

And since this happened, I’ve tried to be a lot better about keeping myself better organized.

But still, even now, I wish there were even better solutions.

I still feel like, even with what I’ve learned, I have waves of uneasiness.

While efforts are being made to find a future beyond passwords, I still need them.

And I still need to manage them…and do a better job at it.

Password managers are a life raft.

An imperfect life raft, but they’re all I’ve got.

Until you lose your password manager password.